Already Here
He is never far…. closer than the breath you take…..
This morning was amazing before the air show crowds started piling in. Just before 6:30 a.m. - sun rising, sky glowing, peaceful and clear.
But I heard thunder.
At first I thought it was just the waves. You know how sometimes they crash in a way that sounds like thunder? Sometimes it’s the range at Eglin AFB, when they’re dropping bombs on the range. But this kept going.
I had been watching a big cloud system moving in. It didn’t look like rain yet, but then I saw lightning flash in the distance.
For some reason I looked out across the water and said,
“Is that thunder, God?”
This week we’d been talking about how father-like God really is. So without even thinking, half-joking, I said,
“Father, come help me. Quick.”
Then I laughed and said,
“You didn’t come.”
Before the words even left my mouth, I heard Him say,
“I don’t need to come. I’m already here.”
And I felt it. That unmistakable presence. He was right there. I knew it.
So I said what came to mind.
“Well okay, Father. Since you’re here, I bless you. I bless you and give all my love.”
Then I caught myself. Can I even do that? Can I bless Him? Can I bless uphill?
I’ve heard it mentioned before in sermons, but in that moment, I wasn’t sure. Still, I meant it. And I think that counts for something.
I told Him, “I know I don’t always give you my all me. Not fully. But I do more than I used to.”
And I heard it clear as day. I don’t know if it was Him or just something deep in me, but I heard, “He loves if you are growing.”
And I believe that. I think He’s in love with growth. With becoming. With us becoming.
“He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;” - Philippians 1:6
He’s not in the perfection business or we’d all be in trouble.
That’s the kind of Father He is.
We’re the ones who measure everything. How much, how often, who is first. But I don’t think God is standing over us with a clipboard.
He’s just being. I Am. That’s what He said from the beginning.
He just is.
And we don’t really get that. He’s way beyond our way of thinking.
“And God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.” And He said, “Thus you shall say to the children of Israel, ‘I AM has sent me to you.’ ” - Exodus 3:14
I think surrender isn’t just about sacrifice. It’s not about laying yourself on an altar like some performance.
Maybe surrender is stopping.
Stopping the striving.
Stopping the idea that you have to keep being the version of yourself the world taught you to be.
Because I’ve learned this. You reflect the world until you die to yourself.
I know I did.
“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” - Romans 12:2
But when you finally stop being that version of you, you don’t disappear. You make space for the One who was already here.
Some days the world will win, those are the days you will be thankful you have a relationship with your Father who will never leave or forsake you.
“Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”” - Hebrews 13:5
